Bittersweet - mostly sweet, only a little bitter

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Monday morning we spent getting outfitted for the funeral. Neither Roger nor I had come even remotely prepared for a funeral, so we headed for the mall in Clovis which offers Sears, Penney’s, Dillards and Bealls. I found a nice little suit on a sale rack in Bealls for not much. Roger had a much smaller selection – Sears had almost nothing, and Dillards had suits more expensive than we wanted to consider. He finally ended up buying from Penney’s. We went to Wal-mart for shoes and a belt, plus a belt for Eric. Eric insisted that he needed a 36, but I think his belly is bigger than Roger’s, and Roger needs a 38! So we bought one 36 and one 38. Roger ended up wearing the 36, Eric the 38. I bought a bit of make-up and some stockings, as Shelli is bringing me shoes.

The funeral yesterday was nice, if one can say that about a funeral. It was a typical West Texas funeral. Upon arrival at Farwell, we drove by the cemetery and saw the burial plot and Pat’s headstone. The church collected food and had lunch for the family (extended, plus some friends) at noon before the funeral at 2:00. It was wonderful seeing lots of people I hadn’t seen in years. Carol Dean still looks great, as does Allyne Pearce. Her son Danny (goes by Dan now!) was there and was telling the kids stories about how he and his brother Roddy and Roger and Marty White used to get in trouble. Lots of laughs! There was Marty’s sister, Susan there, and her husband Doyle. There was Pam Monk, and her mother Jo Patrick, who is Roger’s aunt. Her husband, Proff (Arthur) Patrick just died a few weeks ago but she said she is doing really well, and she looks great. Barbara Anderson, James and Lena Golden (cousins of Roger’s) were there and I am sure I am leaving out lots of people. Daddy, Jimmy, Susan and Brant came for the luncheon. There was, as usual, LOTS of food, all that good west Texas home cooking. Yummy!

The service was short. We sang a couple of the old Baptist hymns that Mary Jean loved, and Nicole sang Shall We Gather At the River. Eric had written a tribute which he read called Grandma’s Home. It was really great, full of memories and humor. I heard the congregation laughing a couple of times. The preacher was from Winters and at least had known Mary Jean somewhat during her five-year stay there. His remarks were brief and appropriate. The pallbearers were the four grandsons and two grandsons-in-law. Perfect! I hope somebody got a picture of the pallbearers’ shoes. Five pairs of black shine, one pair of brown with pale brown on the sides. Wonderful! So perfect in its imperfection!! The graveside services were brief as well – it was a warm and windy day – typical of west Texas.

We went back to the house afterward. We showed Barbara and Lena the box of old-fashioned hats we found in the closet. Shelli and Alicia modeled them for us, and Alicia tried on a couple of Susan’s old formal dresses as well. Nicole tried to wriggle into one, but it was too small even for her, and very hot as well. We laughed a lot. Everyone got to go through one last time and take whatever they wanted, and it was a wonderful closing to a bittersweet day. Around 4:00 we all hugged and departed.

Around 11:00, we headed for bed, but I popped my head back out to wish Alicia and Peter a Happy Anniversary, since they are on Eastern time, even though their anniversary isn’t until tomorrow.

The next morning we awoke early. Peter and Alicia, along with Shelli and Ronnie had to leave for their drive back to Dallas. The plan was to get Ronnie to the airport for a 9:00 a.m. flight to Dallas. He had to be at work around 2:00 and the drive would not get him there on time. Shelli and Ronnie arrived from the Wedels’, and they packed up Ronnie’s car and pulled out. Before they left, Shelli and Alicia were arguing about the quilting stuff and whether they had room for it in the car. Alicia said she needed it if she is going to make a quilt for “that one,” indicating the baby in Shelli’s stomach. Shelli retorted “yeah, if it makes it.” It breaks my heart that we cannot all be wholly joyful about Shelli’s pregnancy, instead of having to hold our collective breaths waiting to see if she can carry this one to term.

It was not until after they left that Roger wished me a happy anniversary and I remembered that I had not wished the same to Alicia and Peter this morning before they left. I texted the wish to Alicia later. Our anniversary – ack! We have done nothing to plan a celebration – no cards, no gift, no nothing. The funeral and all the busy-ness involved in having family here, etc. kept our minds occupied with other things, and now, here it is our anniversary and we have nothing but each other. But that’s truly all we need.

Our flight didn’t leave until 4:25 p.m., so Roger decided he wanted to drive to Bovina to see his grandparents’ gravesite. We invited Daddy along, and spent a delightful morning driving past dairies and fields and sprinkler systems and grain elevators and all the other things that make up west Texas. I have no desire to live there, but I still REALLY love that place. It is so full of its own special kind of beauty. There has been lots of rain this year, so everything is wonderfully green and utterly gorgeous. The drive to Bovina only took half an hour or so. Roger thought he remembered where the cemetery was, but we took a left instead of a right, which took us out of town, then Highway 60 brought us right back around to town again. We stopped and Roger got out and asked a couple of guys where the cemetery is. One of them introduced himself to Roger and said he knew Mary Jean, and was sorry to learn of her passing. He not only give us directions, but told us to follow him and he would take us there. We did, and he turned onto the road where we should have gone right, then led us all the way to the cemetery gate. Roger wasn’t sure exactly where the gravesite was, but he remembered it as being somewhat to the west of the center road. I stopped the car, and he went straight and I went right. It wasn’t even five minutes before I located the marker. We took pictures and noted that Amos was 16 years older than Pansy. Then we headed back to Muleshoe via a different road for varied scenery. Wow! That brought back memories! Once we were back in Muleshoe, we stopped at a roadside stand advertising cherries and bought some to eat now and on the plane and to share with Daddy and Susan and Jimmy. Yummy! Cherries are my favorite food in the whole wide world!!!!

We had lunch with Jimmy, Susan and Daddy, and handed off some of the cherries. We were going to take Roger’s suit to the cleaners, but Susan suggested that we let her take it to Lubbock to be cleaned, as the cleaners in Muleshoe does a less-than-outstanding job at times. We took Daddy by the cleaners to pick up a jacket of his, and to the bank where he made a deposit. While he was at the teller, Roger and I stood around near the table in the middle of the bank lobby. I am sure they thought we were casing the place, as the bank president came out to inquire as to whether he could help us. We indicated we were waiting on Mr. Wedel, and the light bulb came on in his face as he realized I am his daughter, and he introduced himself as Robert Montgomery and we chatted for 10 mintues or so, with Daddy joining us when he finished his banking transaction. Ain’t small-town life great! We went to Carolyn’s and ordered flowers for Susan and Jimmy as a thank-you, and didn’t even have to give them the address!

Susan arrived about 2:00 to take us to the airport. Rats! I forgot to give Susan money for the cleaners, although we did give her the suit. She said she would hang it up in the master bedroom closet after it is cleaned. I left my dress there as well for – well, for the next funeral. I hope we don’t need it before we complete our year in France.